Vikāraḥ

“Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhur Ma Te Sango Stv Akarmani”

You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

Verse 47, Chapter-II, The Bhagavad Gita.

I look outside my window again. It has rained heavily in the last two hours. Suddenly, I am reminded of one other window, that of my room in Hostel-4 of IIT-Bombay. It has been four years since I have graduated. There was a lot of turmoil then as well. It was my last semester then and I am to transition to a PhD program in the states. Change and growth walk hand in hand. Five courses to get over, TOEFL and GRE to prepare for and appear along with a Master’s Thesis, all must be duly completed in the designated time period. Looking back, I wonder how I managed all that.

The sky is now engulfed with dark clouds outside my window. I lean back on the sofa; what is the race towards? I whisper. Sometimes, the mind gets cluttered when it seeks something, when it is in pursuit of a greater goal or a path or an answer. Could it be the solution of a problem I have been stuck with for quite some time now? Or, is it in a hurry to understand a research paper I have been reading?

I close my eyes and find myself at home. There is belongingness here, which I find nowhere. There is a tree outside the window of my study room. It is time for its blossoms; bright red in color, full of vigor, symbolic of prosperity and wisdom. Monsoon is the time when it does so, never hastens and yet, never fails. We are both part of the same cosmos, the sun nourishes us, we breathe the same air and the same universe conspires, works and has come together to help us manifest. The same rich flow of life enriches us. I wonder if the tree has ever felt any of my so called ‘turmoils’.

University of Houston has accepted me. The wand chooses the wizard. As I prepare to bid adieu to IIT-Bombay, I decide to visit the abode of Devi Padmavati and seek her blessings. Tall trees adorn the pathway. Huge and strong, I always perceive the continuation of life in them, a strong will to rise. How else could such a tree evolve from a small acorn? I felt the presence of same force of life in my veins. I yearned no more. ‘Seek nothing outside of yourself. Everything is within.’

The sky is clear now and the water, still. Whenever the mind wanders, we are no longer in the present. The fear is the root cause of all evil. What is to fear? Uncertainty, perhaps. But, the concept of certainty and uncertainty are futuristic in nature, they speak about the outcome, hence, deprive us of the present moment, from the work. The ‘work’ itself is the very joy and peace, the very goal we are after, if ever there was one.

As I ready myself to take a walk in the park in front of my apartment, I remind myself that the flower will always blossom, the tree will continue to rise from the acorn and my actions will echo in eternity. The wand chooses the wizard. The problem choses the pursuer. Focus on the action, the practice and the process.